I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
-Evelyn Beatrice Hall
I went on a trip with some friends recently. Though the vacation was fun and enjoyable, I was a witness (and sometimes a participant) to many heated arguments on varied topics. During the course of all this what struck me was the entirely different ways each one of us has to respond/ behave in an argument or conflict. I mean all of us have our own unique way of putting our point(s) across. It can range from being downright defensive about what you believe in to being completely on the offensive and aggressive until you’ve proven your point. It can range from the absolutely childish of ways like sulking to the downright rude ones like name-calling etc. I’ve seen discussions taking the wildest of turns and ending up somewhere which is nowhere close to the original bone of discontention!
What makes us react in such wildly different ways when faced with a challenge to our beliefs or views? I guess it depends on the way we perceive things. We can either take such duels as a means to further strengthen our belief systems to discussing them threadbare or unnecessarily take it personally and act like an egotistical shithead [:P]. Ultimately the choice is ours.
“When a man uses profanity to support an argument, it indicates that either the man or the argument is weak - probably both”
The way we argue or debate also gives an insight to how to confident one is really about his/ her point of view. The more confident you are in the real sense of the word about what you’re standing for, the more logical and rationale your arguments will be, while if you know you are on a shaky ground you’re likely to indulge more in histrionics and baseless points. Its like trying to make for the void within your basic self through needless and pointless justification. Fighting is normal and a healthy part of all relationships - HOW we fight however, makes the difference.
People respond in all possible manners when faced with opposition. But that shouldn’t deter us in responding purely on the basis of the strength of our view point. The trick I guess lies in not letting a discussion turn into an argument. The difference between them is aptly illustrated by this quote from Robert Quillen:
“Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance”
2 comments:
Our personalities are reflections of our deepest feelings, fears, insecurities. Sometimes a (false) sense of worth.
How we react to situations shows who we truly are. People who tend to get defensive in an argument are generally those who are the most insecure/ unsure about their point.
It takes a a strong man to remain humble, listen and not let a discussion turn into an argument.
great post once again.
Have i told u how insightful you are? :P
Its when we let our our insecurities and fears, as u put it, over ride the way we conduct ourselves, do things start to get muddled up.
And yea, you just did :P
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